Trippy Times in Denver

So I call the recommended reservation number for the hotel. They say there's nothing that has a shuttle but there is a hotel for $59 (Sleep Inn). Great. I'll take that. They say the hotel is only 20 minutes away so how expensive could the cab ride be? I'll tell you: $80. And the cab ride was longer than 20 minutes too. When we show up I see that there are lots of hotels right near the one I'm staying at. There's a Radisson, Hampton, etc., all within walking distance. Maybe they have an airport shuttle? Because I am not paying another $80 to go back to the airport. Hampton - no luck. I look for the Radisson hotel and - lo and behold - it's a castle! No really. It's got the parapets and everything. All it needed was a moat and drawbridge. So I'm thinking, well I could stay in the castle, and they have an airport shuttle van conspicuously parked out front, and their rates are $92. Hmm... I call Sleep Inn just to make double extra sure they don't have a shuttle, and thereby confirm my decision to stay in the castle, and it turns out they don't have a shuttle...but you can reserve the Boulder Shuttle van for only $25. So some quick math reveals: $59 + $25 = $84, still cheaper than the $92 castle rate with the "free" airport shuttle. I abandon the castle (my room probably would have been in the dungeon anyway) and trek back to Sleep Inn. Turns out the night manager dude (a former Air Force recruiter, didn't you know?) has been processing canceled flight hotel reservations all night. And voila, I'm in my room, at the early hour of 1:19 AM. It is definitely time for bed. My flight has been rescheduled for 11:00 AM so the Boulder Shuttle is picking me up at 8:00 AM. Alarm is set for 6:55 AM. Let's hope this trip doesn't get any worse.